Something I have been briefly contemplating is how my main why for so many things is “freedom”.

When I looked back at my business from some distance, I noticed, that I wasn’t doing what I was doing for helping people.

Surely I am happy if it helps people.

But in the end, this is not my driving factor behind it.

I am uncertain if this is due to the way I see myself.
That I don’t necessarily feel like I have value.
Or that I am not feeling good enough.

But regardless of that, what is sparking up my fire to do what I do, is my strive to create more and more freedom in my life.

Becoming a digital nomad has started this journey.
To be where I chose to be.
To go where I want to go.
To work when I want to work.
To do what I want to do.

The only thing I am missing now is to have financial freedom.

And what I am hoping/contemplating/thinking about now is,
if I can achieve this,
by saying what I want to say,
and doing what I want to do in my business instead of what’s “expected/meant to work.”

I mean in some shape or form I have stepped away from a ton of these strategies.
Yet somehow, I still forced myself to do certain tasks.

The questions running through my mind are…
When do I know that I push against my fears or conditioning
& when do I know I push against my true authentic self?

This is so hard to see or grasp.

I know in Human Design they say “listen to your authority”,
but I am still uncertain about what my splenic authority feels like.

Being paid for being me.

This is what I want.

Whatever that means.

Even if it means,
with my undefined G-Center,
I am different
and not consistent.